Eighth Grade Meets Elder Wisdom

A few days ago, I was invited to speak with 8th graders in the ROX program at the middle school. ROX stands for Ruling Our Experiences (link).

I’m embarrassed to say I didn’t know much about this program until I was invited to speak. This group of young women took me right back to eighth grade, and reminiscing in this way was eye-opening. The group is designed to “create generations of confident girls who control their own relationships, experiences, decisions, and futures.”

Six girls came to our campus that day. One question I asked myself — again, not knowing a ton about the program — was: Why aren’t there more girls involved? I understand the high school group is larger. I clearly need to learn more about ROX and #BeingAGirl. My introduction to the group was delightful — a casual conversation guided by Trish Gobrecht, Fort Dodge Middle School counselor.

It was obvious Ms. Gobrecht has established trust and relationships with these young women that will last a lifetime. That powerful connection made me reflect even more on the women in my own life who helped guide me. Later that night, as if on cue, one of those women sent me a message:

“Whenever your confidence is low, just remember that the 13-year-old version of yourself would think you’re the coolest girl alive if she saw you today. And sometimes, that’s all that matters.”

Isn’t it funny how things sync in ways we can’t explain?

There were so many takeaways from that hour-long visit. On the surface, I was proud and excited to show off our campus, to introduce more young people to long-term care, and to remind them that old people are cool — and that working in long-term care is a rewarding career.

On a deeper level, the visit reminded me just how challenging that time in life can be for young women. It brought me back to the over-the-top, awkward, funny, competitive coach’s daughter who had no idea what was in store for her.

The girls asked me, “How did you feel about yourself when you were our age?” Stories of deep insecurity, body image issues, and embarrassment came to mind immediately. It’s funny how, even decades later, you can snap right back to the mind of that 8th-grade girl who agonized over getting a perm — and instantly regretted it. The girl who used humor to hide just how insecure and uncomfortable she felt in her own skin. That time in life when true, solid friendships made all the difference in the world. How blessed am I that many of those friendships still exist today?

Later that night, I found myself wondering: How different are we really, as adults? Sure, we have better ways to cope, more tools to deal with our insecurities, and deeper relationships to lean on — but those feelings, regardless of accomplishments or success, still linger. It reminded me how incredibly important it is to be the person we needed when we were younger.

Without a doubt, I can do a better job of being that person I needed so many years ago. We all can. This group of young women and their advisor reminded me of that in a powerful way, and I hope it serves as a reminder to all of us:

Be the person you needed when you were in eighth grade.